Bloating Soda Commercial

-commercial starts showing a young woman with a wide waist and large breasts, looking depressed-

Announcer: *in a monotone voice* Are you depressed?

Young Woman: *nods*

Announcer: *still in monotone voice* Are you tired of your hourglass figure?

Young woman: *nods again*

Announcer: *even more monotone voice* Feel empty, unfulfilled, and not well-rounded?

Young woman: *continues nodding, starting to look interested*

Announcer: *now in lively, game-show-host voice* Then try Bloating Soda!

-a can of Bloating Soda appears in the Young Woman's hands-

Young Woman: *smiles excitedly and opens the can*

Announcer: Just one sip and you can already start feeling the effects!

Young Woman: *takes a sip* Wow! I feel kinda full! *chugs the rest of the can as her stomach starts bulging*

Announcer: Our crack team of scientists has created a non-harmful solution that causes the belly to expand and grow.

-scene changes to another young woman with a large, bloated belly-

Young Woman 2: Thanks to Bloating Soda, I now feel so full and rounded! *rubs her belly and gives the camera a thumbs-up*

-scene goes back to the first young woman, who's belly was now bloated-

Young Woman: I feel fulfilled and ready to take on the world! *victory sign* Thanks Bloating Soda!

-scene changes to show a couple cans of Bloating Soda sitting next to each other-

Announcer: Bloating Soda! Now available in the soda section of your local supermarket.
Sideeffectsincludestretchmarks. Donotconsumemorethanonecanatatimeifyouarefirststartingasitwillbeveryunpleasant.